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[07 Jun 2006|09:44pm] |
I feel I feel I feel
like Im going to throw up.
Oh God.
This is me having an anxiety attack right now. This very moment.
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(3Bats | In Bat Country)
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| If you want it (woo oo oo) you can have it (woo oo oo)... |
[21 May 2006|10:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Midnight- RHCP |
] |
Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense.
You'll be surprised though.
NO CHEATING.
1) How am I feeling today?
"Knocking On Heavens Door"- Guns and Roses... yeah thatd be about right. After Vegas Im always nearly dead!
2) Will I get far in life?
"Love and War"- Rilo Kiley
3) How do my friends see me?
"Oceans Breathes Salty"-Modest Mouse. They think Im... salty?!
4) Where will I get married?
"Penny Lane"-The Beatles. haHA! I love it. perfect.
5) What is my best friend's theme song?
"No Woman No Cry"- Marley
6) What is the story of my life?
"For The Benefit of Mr. Kite"- The Beatles again.
7) What was high school like?
"Desecration Smile"-Red Hot Chili Peppers. HOTNESS. Fucking dead on.
8) How can I get ahead in life?
"Seven Nation Army"- The White Stripes. Ok... whose gonna be in my army?! Ill need to start with some recuiters...
9) What is the best thing about you?
"The Boss"-James Brown. Fuck yeah.
10) What is tomorrow going to be like?
"Whenever, Wherever"-Shakira
11) What is in store for this weekend?
"In The Mood"-Glen Miller band. saahhweeet! Sounds swingin'...
12) How is my life going?
"Photograph"-Weezer. heh. basically.
13) What song will they play at my funeral?
"Heartbreak Hotel"-Elvis. hm.
14) What do my friends really think of me?
"Bulls on Parade"-Rage Against the Machine.
15) Do people secretly lust after me?
"Billy"-James Blunt.
16) How can I make myself happy?
"Simple Things"-Zero 7
17) Will I ever have children?
"Heartbreaker"-Mariah Carey. hm. guess not?
18) Who will you marry?
"Blinded by the lights"-The Streets
ahaha
19) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
"Silly ho"-TLC. riiiight.
if you listen to the songs that come up for each of these for you, it is rather interesting.. almost like an A.I. perspective on things :)
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(5Bats | In Bat Country)
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| Dont lose the war. |
[13 Feb 2006|04:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
P.S. I love my brother a lot and he makes me want to cry everytime I talk to him. He dropped out of school and I know hes doing horrible horrible things to himself. I would give up anything in the world for him to go back to being Jules. Uggh. I cant do this without crying.
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(1Bat | In Bat Country)
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| My Bday. |
[30 Dec 2005|11:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
Im 21 today. One would think it would be more exciting... but its not. I dont wanna grow up!!!!!
At any rate, now I can go get plastered. legally. hoo hah.
|
(6Bats | In Bat Country)
|
|
[01 Nov 2005|11:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
Okay-
I have been a fucking trooper for long enough. I am pissed. Mad as hell, even. I got my wisdom teeth out on Saturday, which was overall okay. Aside from the fact that my mouth still hurts and I long for solid food in a way that I never thought anyone could. Seriously- anything solid might as well be gold. Vicodin has literally become my best friend. If it werent for that combined with 800 mg of Ibuprofen I dont think I would be able to function. Today, I went to go get blood drawn since I am donating the nucleus of my eggs to a family who wants a child. yes, they are paying a large amount. no, I am not doing it for the money. After all that I was heading to work when I stopped at a light coming off the freeway. I was promptly rear ended by some fucknut in a Dodge pickup truck. His passenger proceeded to tell me (while I am in hysterics) that it was my fault because the light turned green and I didnt go. Uhm- excuse me?! So, they convinced me to follow them from Clairemont Mesa allll the way to but fuck nowhere (aka Lemon Grove) where he son who owns a body shop will look at my car and fix it for me. I got his drivers license number and whatnot at the scene, but in my hytserical haze I forgot to get his insurance... this is why I had to drive to Lemon Grove. Once I got there I IMMEDIATELY asked for all his info. I listened to his son's schpiel (and it was a prett good one) about how they would fix my car and look at all the BMWs in the lot that they were fixing and they would even fix any other damage if I would just "please, please not report it to the insurance company because his poor dad already had 2 accidents on his record.) Pretty interesting considering it was MY FAULT, right?! It took very little convincing from my mom before I decided that it would be a VERY bad idea to let them fix my car because A) there is a SIGNIFICANT amount of damage, including my tailight hanging from a wire. B) I might have whiplash. C) Rental car, anyone?! anyone??
D) who knows if they would even fix it right.
I guess the end of this year is not going to come very easily.
Im fucking ready though. I will beat all this shit and have a new set of tits afterwards. Take that!
Love,
Sara
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(9Bats | In Bat Country)
|
| Apple |
[27 Sep 2005|01:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
I am waiting for class to start at 2 in the building across from this lovely library. So far, this school year has been fairly manageable. I definitely have PLENTY to do. My day goes something like this: Wake up- TV- School/Work- Gym- Dinner- Study.
And most of them time I am with my friends when doing the above activities. I really do love all of my friend here. Theres no one quite like them.
Tonight is Nip/Tuck and I am toooo excited. Tomorrow night is Phi Alpha Delta's first meeting of the year. Thats kind of exciting too. It is my first meeting as an actual member, not just a pledge.
I went for an interview yesterday at this publishing agency. I dont know how to spell the woman's name, but apparantly she is an A-lister in the publishing world. It is an unpaid internship... but holy shit I want it so fucking bad. I walked in and there were just book. stacked. everywhere. There were magazine... movies... everything! The best part is, I would just get to read manuscripts and put in my .02! How perfect would this be?? The woman interviewing me showed me a tattoo she had that said "howl" a la Allen Ginsburg. So, I showed her my HST tattoo. I think we got along really well. I really hope it works out. fuck i gotta go to class. love ya.
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(1Bat | In Bat Country)
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| My January Friend |
[05 Sep 2005|02:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
angry |
] |
So shes gone... left with him last night.
There goes my best friend.
I guess friends come and go. I just didnt want to see this one go.
I hope everything or something changes.
Until then I guess I will try not to worry myself sick.
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(7Bats | In Bat Country)
|
|
[04 Sep 2005|10:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
I think this article by Anne Rice sums it all up very well, as far as the humanity of it all.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/04/opinion/04rice.html?ei=5090&en=ce2f33f8719dba9c&ex=1283486400&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=print
I am so downtrodden lately... what with the hurricane and our government, and my best friend returning to her abusive boyfriend, and having to go back to San Diego. Everything just seems to be falling apart. At lunch today the said friend and I were trying to determine whether the democratic party has to run a conservative dem or a liberal dem in order to take control. On the one hand, a conservative democrat would have a good chance because of the seemingly large amount of people who are now voting based on morals. However- would a more liberal democrat swing more of the votes that were previously given to the libertarians and green party? Will it make a difference? Does it even fucking matter? The point is, we don't know. All we know is that this shit is fucked. Poor Georgie boy is going to have to work full days to clean up this mess he has made for himself. I mean, we are talking like 5 hours a day, at least! Poor guy. It might be hard on him...
...
pardon the sarcasm.
In other news, I dont know what to do about this friend of mine. She cries (literally) about how she loves me and doesnt want to lose my friendship but then says she wants to go back to this guy who more than likely keyed my car, threatened us to the point that restraining orders were filed, and tried to beat down a door. She says she exaggerated situations, but I saw what I saw. The thing is, I dont want to lose her friendship either. So now I have to sit back and just watch this horrendous mistake unfold. Its like a bad train wreck... we all tried to stop her. There are so many other guys out there! Great guys! She is smart, seriously beautiful, funny, etc. Im just scared for her. I guess if its not drugs and alcohol it has to be something else. Why wont she stop being destructive? I gave her an ultimatum, me or him. She chose me, but then she says she loves him... blah blah blah. I cant hold her back. She has to make her own mistakes. But these mistakes are going to be costly.
uggh.
I need guidance.
I am very thankful to have a boyfriend who loves my friends and isnt controlling and is accepting of who I am. When I look around and see other peoples relationships, it helps me better appreciate what I have. I know I take it for granted sometimes.
As far as moving back to SD goes, I have literally mountains of clothes to deal with. Seriously... I had to recruit my mom to help me deal with it all because I know I will just burst into tears. It really is embarrassing how much I have and how much I dont wear. A lot of it will get donated to some worthy charity. I am happy about going back to SD for a couple reasons that I feel I should mention so that it doesnt sound like im just bitching. I am excited to see my friends- my fun friends. ;) I will be turning 21 so uhm - yeah. thats gonna be FUCKING AWESOME. I will get a nice break from the friend mentioned above so that I can separate myself from her issues for a while. I will have my own place again (aside from the crazy roommate) and I get my cats back!
So there are the positives. :)
I want to get school done and out of the way. This will require great focus and copious amounts of red wine. here we go...
les jeux sont fait.
~S
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(4Bats | In Bat Country)
|
|
[06 Aug 2005|11:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kill Bill music |
] |
Being more or less bedridden really bites the big one. Yesterday morning at about 7 am I felt the spasm in my neck and it was all downhill from there. I still had to go to work though, and the Randy's one year anniversary thing. That was actually very fun. I am so proud of her... I know she felt so accomplished. I got to meet her sponsor who totally rocked, and her friend Erica was equally as awesome. I think he parents were a little uncomfortable at the meeting. I can imagine they were sitting there amongst drug addicts and alcoholics wondering how they ever wound up here with their daughter. I love going to meetings with her though. Generally, the people are very charismatic. And by charismatic I mean totally fucking crazy. My type of people...
I feel very boring lately. I dont want to go back to SD. Im glad Im going to get out of there a year early. That makes my life. :) Then I will probably come back to LA for awhile. Who knows what I'll do. Ive been seriously thinking about going into education because of the time off it allows in the summers and winters. I could travel/write etc.
I want to go crazy.
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(6Bats | In Bat Country)
|
| uh huh uh huh |
[24 Jul 2005|03:00pm] |
My mom bought me Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon pajama bottoms from Target.
That is all.
I feel like the coolest kid in school!!!
eh heh.
uhhhmmm... I dont think there is much else to say other than that. Its Sunday. The sun is shining/trying to melt us - or wait, maybe thats God?!
no, its definitely the sun. The birds are singing. All is well in Van Nuys.
-Sara OUT!
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(8Bats | In Bat Country)
|
| Tell me all your sins. |
[20 Jul 2005|11:14pm] |
"I want you to post anything that you want in reply to this entry.
Anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, an opinion, a critique - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like.
Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say."
come on people, lets make this interesting. ;)
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(7Bats | In Bat Country)
|
|
[12 Jul 2005|07:56pm] |
Johnny Depp on Leno tomorrow night and Charlie comes out on Friday?! Get ready to swoon! BEST WEEK EVAAARRRRRR!@2!!111
achem.
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(9Bats | In Bat Country)
|
| my sentiments exactly. |
[10 Jul 2005|02:24am] |
| You Are 28% American |  America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch! |
haha... exactly.
i wasnt going to actually post this crap, but the "freak flag" thing made me a little excited...
|
(1Bat | In Bat Country)
|
| disregard |
[08 Jul 2005|10:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
uncomfortable |
] |
So I guess we are on a break?
Relationships are so complicated... there are days when I would just do away with them all together.
Fuck.
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(3Bats | In Bat Country)
|
|
[29 Jun 2005|10:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
I could most certainly eat peaches for the rest of my life.
It has come to my attention that Monday is America's Birthday. The problem with days like these, where its obvious that massive debauchery should be taking place, is that no one can seem to get it together enough to actually do something. Everybody bumbles around like idiots and nothing ever happens. Additionally, I am torn between celebrating the day, and well, not. Currently America is in the shitter. This is evidenced by Bushie's recent speech. Ok, but the point is that the 4th of July is supposed to be a holiday where America is celebrated for being a "free" country. I would hardly describe it as free. It doesn't get more obviously oppressive than the Patriot Act.
Whatever. Maybe ingesting large amounts of drugs is the perfect way to celebrate. Forget it all, yet have an amazing trip...
In our drug induced states we can attempt to ignore everything America has become and just have a good time, in the name of what America should be.
Ok- now to go about finding these substances. Thats always the hardest part... especially for lazy potheads.
So thats my big thought of the day.
<3
A True Patriot
|
(11Bats | In Bat Country)
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